This is a purple forest, and all around, strange plants grow in an ever-present, indigo mist. The deeper one walks, the wetter the ground and darker the canopy, until finally, the branches and leaves completely cover the sky, and Tang is completely lost.
"Wonderful! What lively, unique living beings!" Tang says happily.
"Thank you!" replies a voice.
Tang turns, and sees a tree; set into its purple trunk are two blinking eyes.
"Amazing, I see a demon! I love such supernatural beings, what a wonder life is! Let me touch you, spirit of the earth." Tang reaches out, joyfully rubbing the trunk.
The trunk is covered with purple sap, and feels slippery, wet and silk-smooth.
The tree relaxes into the stroking, and allows its thousands of draping branches to wave about in pleasure.
"Ah! No one has touched me for several tens of thousands of years! It used to be… perhaps a few thousand years ago, that a tribe of monkeys played on me, but since then, they have disappeared. Back then, I did not yet have eyes, and only felt so many moving creatures all around me, talking, singing… I couldn't see, and couldn't move, but I was happy. Now, I have finally grown my eyes, but where have they gone…"
"They're dead." says Tang.
"Dead? What is dead?"
"Death means you cannot see anything, cannot hear or feel or think anything, like the time before you were born."
"No! Don't want death. And don't want to be alone."
"You will live for a long time yet. You don't have hands, or legs - you'll grow those later."
"I spent a hundred thousand years growing eyes - I cannot bear such waiting anymore! I want to feel the others around me right now, feel you, the smell on your body intoxicates me!"
"It has been a while since I last had a bath. By the way, if you don't have a mouth, how are you talking?"
"I use this." The tree waves a branch in front of Tang.
On it hangs a human mouth.
"That's not yours."
"Correct. I found it. Three hundred years ago, a man was eaten here, and this was left behind. I used my sap to keep it fresh, then spent another dozen years to grow a branch and pick it up."
"That's not nice, you know, you have become opportunistic. If it's not yours, you should return it to where it's from."
"Don't you want to know why that man was eaten?"
"Because he met you?"
"Yes."
Suddenly, Tang realizes his feet have been tangled by vines for some time.
Behind him comes a snuffling noise, and hot air the smell of rotten flesh blasts at his neck, but he cannot turn around.
"Leave his hands for me. I like those hands." says the tree.
"Taking other demons' leftovers; If I were you I'd hang myself for shame." says Tang.
"If I had a neck, I'd consider it."
A pair of claws are now resting on Tang's shoulders.
The tree says, "Wait, I want to say one last thing to him. He is the first to talk to me after I got this mouth. I'm very curious what the experience is like for a person about to be eaten."
"Don't you prattle on at me!" says Tang, "the earlier I die, the earlier I reincarnate! I'm not scared! …do you really want hear my last words?"
The tree nods with its branches.
"Alright." Tang takes a deep breath: "HEEEEEEEEEAAAAAALLLLPPP!"

"The master's calling for help again." says the pig.
"Ignore him, he's always like that. Tireless." Wukong has finished looking at the sunset, and is now gnawing on a bone.
Bajie stares at him. "What are you eating?"
"Pork."
"All right, you little-" The pig leaps at the monkey.
"Yeah." Friar Sand turns over in his sleep. "Chop… Chop him up…" And falls back into a deep slumber.
***
"You have called for help seventeen times. I only permitted one sentence." The tree stares at Tang. "Why are you leaking water?"
"Grandpa Tree, I'm really scared. I'm still young, you know, I'm barely twenty years old."
"You have your limbs and all your senses at only twenty. I've lived ten thousand years and only have a pair of eyes. How is that fair?"
"To become human you must reincarnate several hundred times, so altogether I’ve waited about the same amount of time as you. Please let me live a few years longer."
"If I release you, you will leave me, and I will be left alone. No."
"I won't leave, I swear by my eldest disciple Sun Wukong that I'll stay until your death. And can whatever's behind me stop licking me? I'm rather dirty, you know."
"Sun Wukong? I've heard of that name somewhere… Oh forget it, you said you have disciples?"
"Yes. My second disciple Zhu Bajie is very fat."
"Then keep yelling."
***
"The master has called for the one hundred and thirty-forth time. You still won't go and shut him up?"
“Say uncle first."
“Never! Take your foot off my back and fight me like a man!"
"No, huh? Then you bring this on yourself..."
Bang, bang, crash. #%!!&@.

"Ahem.. Um, can I get a drink of water before I get back to yelling?"
"They're not coming. Maybe they've run away."
"Wait, I think hear a sound like a pig getting slaughtered." The creature behind Tang says.
"Oh yeah, that'll be them." says Tang.
"I don't care, I’ve decided that I'll eat you first, and then go look for them."
“No no no, don't do that, why don't we sit down and talk about philosophy - how about I give you a riddle? What is a lotus before it's a lotus?"
"Argh!" Both the tree and the creature give a sudden scream, and disappear in a puff of smoke.
“Hm?" says Tang, "What happened to you? Sorry if my riddle was a little too hard."
"A lotus before it's a lotus is still a lotus." A girl's voice says.
Tang turns around, and sees a girl smirking at him, with long flowing hair and shimmering clothes woven from the finest silver grass.
"You're really pretty, lady!" says Tang.
"It appears you are a lustful monk."
"Oh, no! Only, a monk must not lie."
"If you weren't bald, girls would like you."
"I've always thought it makes me look rather dashing."
"Such a slippery tongue! How will you ever learn the true way?"
"The way I learn is different from everyone else's; they study the Smaller Scriptures, I study the Greater Scriptures; they learn of emptiness, I learn of fulfillment."
"Greater Scriptures? Ha, never heard of them."
"Because I haven't made them up yet."
"I've only heard of a Golden Cicero who doubted the Smaller Scriptures, and wanted to comprehend everything all by himself. He ended up going astray, and re-entered the mortal world."
"That's dumb of him."
The girl is suddenly angry. "What right do you have to talk about him like that?! He has enough wisdom in his little finger to reveal the very heaven's secrets; you are only a common mortal who begs demons for your life!"
"Because I want to live, and cannot bury the desire in my heart; For the same reason, I delight in your beauty - how then can I say that all is empty?"
"You are a simple mortal; you cannot see that the perceptions of all things are but illusions."
"Even the lowliest creatures can be beautiful, there’s no need to feel ashamed of yourself."
"You have already broken the Ban of Hostility! Incessant talk of nonsense; unclean heart and mind - how can you possibly be a monk?"
“Good heavens, it's not my fault I was born in a temple."
"You are not worthy of discussing Buddhism! When I heard your riddle, I thought you had some understanding, and so came to your aid - now I see that I have saved an ignorant fool. Leave my sight!"
"Ha, that was not well said, lady; 'life and death are the will of heaven' - if I were a wise monk, the Buddha would naturally protect me - how would ever I require your pointless fussing?"
"Infuriating, bald -"
The girl turns about and the pretty face is suddenly twisted and frightening: "If you are such an unimportant mortal, then I should devour you!"
Tang sighs. "Why is it that demons always have so much to say before they eat me?"
In the blink of an eye, a figure streaks through the air.
It is, of course, Sun Wukong.

第一章想用现在式有意境一点，实在是有些地方有点别扭。。以后还是老实用过去式吧。。

Two.
Tang and the other two disciples were eating fruit in front of the campfire.
Sun Wukong walked slowly out of the woods.
Tang looked up.
"You're back? Take a seat."
Wukong said nothing. He sat down and stared into the fire.
"Eh, what's wrong with the monkey today?" said the pig, "He looks like he's been knocked on the head. Haha, hahaha…."
He laughed until tears leaked from his eyes before he realized no one else was laughing.
"Not good." said Sand.
"What's not good?" asked Bajie.
"I don't know, but I feel nervous all of a sudden." said Sand.
"Fine, everything's fine. What will come, will come." Tang said, watching Wukong carefully, "Isn't that right, monkey?"
Wukong's face was hidden in the shadows.
"I didn't kill her." he said.
"I knew you couldn't bear to kill such a pretty girl." said Tang.
"Ah! Pretty women! No wonder the monkey stayed for so long! And you too, monk! What have you guys been d-"
Sand kicked Bajie.
"What are you kicking me for? You think they're acting weird? Well, so what, what's that got to do with me? When have they ever acted NOT weird?" The pig yelled.
"She told me everything." said Sun Wukong.
"Oh?" said Tang.
"She told me who I am, and who all of us are."
"Oh?" said Tang.
"Oh?" said the Pig, "Did she tell you I'm not actually a pig ahahaha… hahaha…"
Sun Wukong leaped up; the pig was still rolling on the floor with laughter.
Wukong pointed his staff at Tang: "Since I now know who you are, I am bound to kill you."
"Oh." said Tang, "Who am I? Can you tell me before you kill me?"
Wukong leaped, and his staff landed directly on Tang's head. Blood spurted, and Tang fell to the ground.
Wukong roared with laughter: "Sun Wukong, you've committed another crime against Heaven!"
He threw back his head and shouted at the sky: "I've killed him - so what? Come and get me!"
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck, accompanied by an enormous roll of thunder. The entire woods caught fire.
Wukong laughed carelessly. "Ha, missed me! Aim for this!" He pointed at his own forehead. "Come on, come on! Are you scared? I DARE YOU!"
The dancing firelight twisted his face frightfully.
Low rumbles of thunder sounded, but no more lightning struck. The thunder was like the panting of an enormous beast in the face of an even greater opponent, fading away as it rumbled.
Wukong seemed to sense something, suddenly. He leaped, then disappeared into the sky.
Friar Sand looked at the sky, then looked at the ground. Tang's body laid on the ground, and had begun to burn. Bajie was still laughing.
"Hey. Stop laughing. Tang's dead."
"Dead is good, dead is good, let's divide up the luggage shall we, ahahaha… hahaha…."
The pig kept on laughing, tears streaming down his face.

不好意我帖子一发就被删，慢慢来。。

"Zhu Bajie! You're drooling; can you suck it up a bit? It's nearly at my feet." the White Dragon said.
"Damn you, horse, you woke me up."
"Are your eyes drooling too, or are you actually capable of crying?"