Wie wird man seinen Schatten los?
Wie sagt man seinem Schicksai Nein?
Wie kriecht man aus der eignen Haut?
Wie kann man je ein andrer sein?
Wenn soll man fragen, wenn man sich selber nicht versteht?
Wie kann man frei sein, wenn man seinen Schatten nie entgeht?
——Mozart!

我就是那种 虽然对国家有这个那个不满 但要我移民啥的却死也不移民的人。我生是中国人，死是中国鬼，我可能会出国学习，但我绝不留在国外。我要为这片土地努力，为她流尽我的最后一滴血。我对她有很多不满，但我绝不离开她，我要让她变得更好。
世界是丑陋的，但是充满希望的。

歌词在这里存下档
On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me
In the rain
The pavement shines like silver
All the lights
Are misty in the river
In the darkness
The trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever
And I know
It's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say
There's a way for us

As long as he needs me,
Oh, yes, he does need me,
In spite of what you see,
I'm sure that he needs me,
Who else would love him still,
When they've been used so ill?
He knows I always will,
As long as he needs me,
I miss him so much when he is gone,
But when he's near me,
I don't let on,
The way I feel inside,
The love I have to hide,
The hell! I've got my pride,
As long as he needs me,
He doesn't say the things he should,
He acts the way he thinks he should,
But all the same,
I'll play this game,
His way...
As long as he needs me,
I know where I must be,
I'll cling on steadfastly,
As long as he needs me,
As long as life is long,
I'll love him right or wrong,
And somehow I'll be strong,
As long as he needs me,
If you are lonely,
Then you will know,
When someone needs you,
You love them so,
I won't betray his trust,
Though people say I must,
I've got to stay true, just,
As long as he needs me.

[00:04.33]As long as he needs me,
[00:11.82]Oh, yes, he does need me,
[00:18.13]In spite of what you see,
[00:24.45]I'm sure that he needs me,
[00:30.77]Who else would love him still,
[00:36.68]When they've been used so ill?
[00:43.25]He knows I always will,
[00:49.37]As long as he needs me,
[00:55.95]I miss him so much when he is gone,
[01:01.80]But when he's near me,
[01:04.76]I don't let on,
[01:10.14]The way I feel inside,
[01:17.13]The love I have to hide,
[01:23.30]The hell! I've got my pride,
[01:29.35]As long as he needs me,
[01:37.59]He doesn't say the things he should,
[01;42.39]He acts the way he thinks he should,
[01:49.28]But all the same,
[01:51.34]I'll play this game,
[01:57.64]His way...
[02:01.91]As long as life is long
[02:10.06]I'll love him right or wrong,
And somehow I'll be strong,
As long as he needs me,
If you are lonely,
Then you will know,
When someone needs you,
You'll love them so
I won't betray his trust
Though people say I must
I've got to stay true...just
As long as he needs me~

On my own
独自一人
Pretending he's beside me
假装他就在我身旁
All alone
形单影只
I walk with him till morning
我随他走入黎明
Without him
当他不在
I feel his arms around me
我也感到他臂弯环绕
And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me
当我失去方向、闭上眼睛，他便到我身边
In the rain
细雨绵绵
The pavement shines like silver
街道上银光闪烁
All the lights
灯火阑珊
Are misty in the river
小河上飘着柔曼的轻纱
In the darkness
黑暗之中
The trees are full of starlight
树梢上有星光璀璨
And all I see is him and me forever and forever
而我只看见我们二人永永远远
And I know
但我知道
It's only in my mind
这一切不过是幻想
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
听我说话的不是他，只是我的影子
And although I know that he is blind
尽管我知道，他已盲目
Still I say
我还在坚持
There's a way for us
这份爱还有出路
I love him
我爱他！
But when the night is over
但当黑夜褪去
He is gone
他便不在
The river's just a river
那小河不过是条小河
Without him
没有了他
The world around me changes
我的世界会支离破碎
The trees are bare in everywhere the streets are full of strangers
树梢不再有星光，街上只剩陌生人
I love him
我爱他！
But everyday I'm learning
但每天我都更清楚
All my life
我这一生
I'm only being pretending
不过总在自欺欺人
Without me
没有了我
His world will go on turning
他的塞纳河依旧西流
A world which full of happiness that I have never known
他生活在一个我从未了解过的、幸福的世界
I love him
我爱他
I love him
我爱他
I love him...
我好爱他……
But only on my own
但都不过一厢情愿罢了

闲的没事来看一眼

顶顶顶

从今天开始每天记日记怎么样——

今天房中校长跑到我们学校来给我们学生签约，区1300名以内就能直接进入宏志班，不但不用花钱，还能领补助金。我也想去啊啊啊啊啊！！！（我知道我能去更好的学校，但是宏志班他不用花钱啊，哈哈哈我就是财迷一个）我们班那群九百多名一千多名的的都去了。我们这些进了前一百呀前五十呀前二十（我，鱼妞，柱子）的都没去。互相调侃：“lxy（对我说）你别说你想去什么宏志班，你过去把你的名次一说，房中校长得给你跪下。”哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈我还真想去！！
脑补一下：校长劲儿劲儿地过来了：“小同学，看起来不错嘛！有兴趣签约吗~考了多少名啊~”
我：（一脸乖巧，宠辱不惊）“哦。我第六。”
画面多美~

昨天数学考砸了，心情很差很差很差，所以没有写日记。
今天上午体考完了。我敢说2020年体考是近十几年来最轻松的一次体考，800米跑下来即可，仰卧起坐和篮球都不计时。但是我觉得，这真的很不公平，对于我们每天认真练习的同学来说。我们每天辛辛苦苦在操场上跑到天黑，疫情期间怕落下还每天绕着小区跑（我现在800米跑完都不带喘的，就真的这么练），每天抽出一个多小时和篮球死磕，仰卧起坐练了三年，特么就给我们不计时了。
无语，真的很无语。恕我直言，疫情才能凸显出来一个人的能力，在疫情过后体育依旧优秀的，才是真正的体育优秀生！！

怎么说呢……就这样吧。就算我点背吧。可能这就是“攒人品”，希望人品能攒到人生关键时刻用。
这么热的天，我们中考的考场连空调都没有。心静自然凉吧、、
我在这里记一下我很想干的一件事：我想搜集一下关于浴缸以及淋浴的发展史，尤其是在欧洲的发展史，以驳回某些人“欧洲人不洗澡”的论调。2020年了别一副大清还没亡的样子，真以为欧洲人吃生肉不喝茶叶就得被大便活活憋死啊。我不是崇洋媚外，别给人瞎扣帽子。我是世界公民。

disappointed.
依稀记得小时候我们都在做的清华北大梦，我那时还在做哈佛梦。我那时天真地以为那里便是最高学府，是学术天堂，是追求真理的地方，我们将在科学中迷失自我。谁没想过会有一个天堂呢。那里我们穿着奇装异服邋里邋遢做着各种古怪的实验，但却是为了人类的未来。在实验室中我们会唱起明日之歌。
后来我听说了，常青藤学校只要捐巨款就可以上，动动手指花上几个臭钱比我们寒窗苦读上的学校都强。那时我不懂什么是资本，我还很善良地以为那些常青藤靠这个能引入更好的资源，不是坏的，而且靠自己考上常青藤的人更多。哈佛，斯坦福，普林斯顿，在我心中***闪闪发光。
到现在我发现我还是错了。都是错的。何为科学？科学难道是政府用来抹黑他国的工具吗？科学难道是伪造来获取利益的工具吗？科学是被妖魔化让老百姓闻之丧胆的工具吗？什么是真？？什么是假？？？我们学习是为了什么？？？是为了更好地变成工具和资本家，还是为了更明亮的未来而前进？？？或者是，只是为了探寻真理，探寻这整个世界的奥秘？？？
哈佛如今也成为了工具啊。美政府的工具，多么荒唐多么可笑多么无耻。
说到这里我突然害怕，说不定还会出来反转？说不定我看到的只是别人想让我看到的东西？那么到底什么是真呢，什么才是真相呢，我们人类，真的这么渺小，连真相都无从知道了吗。
全都离谱。

真是魔幻啊，飘也被下架了。如画一般的郝思嘉，眼神狡黠的白瑞德，憨态可掬的嬷嬷，斯文勇敢的韩媚兰，全没了。为什么，因为政治不正确。
原来咱们艺术都要为政治服务。
我全心全意支持blm运动，真的。但是在这次运动中又有多少浑水摸鱼的，有多少矫枉过正的，谁知道呢。这就是现实，欢迎来到人类的世界。什么是真？这就是真。利用，利用，全都是利用。
如果你想建立一个人人幸福的世界，那么请你爱上丑陋。